I am a caregiver for a dear old friend I have known my whole massage career which  began in 1986. To call her a control freak would be polite. She has always accomplished  her goals because of  her systematic planning. This lady wants things done in a particular way and she wants them done right. Which translates into, she wants them done her way..

After  surviving a few health crises in a row, she learned a hard lesson called modification. It made her feel angry to not be able to get things done on her own. She was frustrated that she now had to ask for help for so many stupid, little tasks.

One of these task was putting up the Christmas decorations. She has certain items she uses for each season including patriotic holiday flags. When I first started as her caregiver, she instructed me to only do what ” I can’t/don’t do. I’ll do what I can or I’ll get weak faster”.

She just had her 96th birthday in November and she still does a great deal for herself as well as enjoying an active life. Yet I do notice that she tires easier these days.

I knew it was time for the Christmas decorations to appear. As I had a moment of spare time, I went to her house and dug out all the decorations she has put out for 40 years. I  dusted  them off and tried to place each decoration just where we did last year. To be honest, I was worried she would be angry that I took over and did it without her.

Imagine my surprise when I returned to her house and she said “oh Val, it was so nice to walk in and see all that done! It looks great.”

I was happy that she was ok with it and enjoyed how I placed things, yet sad because I knew it was another thing she has given over. I was almost disappointed she wasn’t feisty enough to gripe at me ha-ha.

I realize we were onto a new phase in the great journey of life.