The beginnings
When I decided I wanted to write a book about time I have spent with Crones, I was thinking mainly of the three elderly women that I took care of for years.
You may, or may not be familiar with the three basic stages of womanhood. there is the early stage, or as its named the Maiden stage. Then comes the middle stage, when many women were wives and mothers. That stage is evolving into much more than that these days, but we will let that definition sit for now. Then there is the Crone stage. When women are no longer bearing and raising children. They become the sage givers of advice and their bodies begin to slow down. That’s the phase I will be writing about in the next several blog posts.
As I got to thinking about my Crones and started to take inventory of the women in my life that have been influential to me I realize I have had many benefits and Gifts of wisdom from women my entire life.
As a young child in New Hampshire, living in a tumultuous family, I had a nice neighbor who’s name was Ruth. She had some profound conversations with me that were helpful. I was also blessed with two older sisters who were willing to answer my questions and share their wisdom.
I think the benefits of having a good mom and good sisters made me more likely to listen to The Wise Women around me. Even as there were times that I may have not appeared to be in agreement with their ways, when I forged my own path and didn’t follow their advice, honestly, their words stuck with me and would sometimes they come back to me at a later date.
As a young adult I left my parents’ home and moved to Melbourne Florida because my mate got a job in Brevard County. Before I moved, I held a job at the local hospital in Daytona. Some of the nurses and nurse’s aides I worked along side of were very generous and kind to me. I was very young, and hospitals can be an overwhelming place for a caring young woman. One of the best pieces of advice that I ever had was from a nurse I worked with. She told me this, Valentina, you can not get upset when the patients are suffering and sick. She asked me if I knew the difference between empathy and sympathy Valentina? I said no ma’am, and she said sympathy is when someone is in a hole and they’re in trouble and you jump down in that hole with them, empathy is when you stand over the hole and reach down to help pull them out. You can’t get anything done when you sympathize, you have to have empathy and the power to do something about it. I still struggle with that one sometimes. My heart is big and it breaks for people who are hurting or in pain. But most of the time, I am fairly good at helping people find their way out of tough situations and help them to ease their pain.
Another nurse who was very helpful to me was a woman named Juanita. I was 20 years old she was in her 50s. In fact, one of the reasons I went into my chosen career field was because of the advice I got from one of those nurses way back when.
And the stories continue, check back again to see the next one.
Valentina Boonstra
